The Honeymoon Is Over - Now The Marriage Has Just Begun

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There is no coming back from that four-letter word. After I recovered, I realized I preferred staying in the guest room. I am still a strong believer in the fact that most people sleep better alone, but it does create a literal separation between the couple.

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Then I started noticing other differences and changes in us as individuals and in our marriage. I had a couple that I really liked, but she was stuck on this one house and kept coming back to it. I hated that house. It was hideous inside, untouched since ugh, that wallpaper! For her.

It was at that moment that I knew that I still loved her but that it was done. I spent the next year remodeling that house on nights and weekends, and roughly about when it was done we split. It inevitably goes back further, to all those years of early adulthood when I realized my anxiety about forming deep relationships with anyone, let alone potential spouses. Instead of examining that and getting help to deal with the issues that kept me from forming real connections with people, I blame them instead.

As I look back on it now, however, I realize that even I had given up. I was no longer trying. What had once been a challenge for us to overcome together became a battle for us to fight independent of one another. That realization hit me pretty hard that night, as I lay in bed just a few hours after she asked to take a break. By the time she revealed she wanted a divorce, just a day and a half later, I had already recognized that this was it, we were done.

I was done. I cannot speak for my ex-wife. But for me, I was simply not in a good place in my life and had long since lost my identity.


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Slowly, trapped in an isolating mindset, failures became my only confidants. Don'ts for Husbands.

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Please try again later. Format: Paperback Verified Purchase. Very American, most people I know who just got married know of most the the stuff covered in this book already as most people nowadays live together, buy house, know each other families and then marry.

He was on TV all the time. However, Buttigieg might be finding out that strategy has its limits.


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